Brain Dump: A+ Hacks
Before deciding on the Project Person format for my weekly emails, I drafted a ten email series all about my favorite hacks and ideas.
Ultimately I decided they are not really worthy of an email series, but as I went to delete the drafts from my email platform, I decided they are pretty good for a brain-dump blog.
Buckle up!!
Every Christmas, my mother and her three sisters meet up and do two things:
They make their favorite recipe of the year and bring it for a potluck dinner. They also print the recipe for each sister to add to their Sister Cookbook that they’ve been building for decades. (They even gave me my own copy—printed and put in a three-ring binder—when I got married.)
They buy their favorite product for each sister as a gift. This could be beauty, cleaning, storage, etc… My friends did this once and we ended up with this glass cleaner, this hair spray, and some great no-show socks.
I have this problem where I ask inappropriately deep questions at parties, but it’s just because I’m allergic to small talk. My friend Kaitie Bryant sells these books of questions with deepening levels of intensity for people like me. I keep one of these books in my purse, we put them on the coffee table of our AirBNB, and it’s one of my favorite gifts to give. She even has books specific to marriage, foster/adoptive families, and the enneagram!
Time budgeting is a concept I first heard of from Jordan Reynor. I’m a big multi-tasker, but that means that without a system, I am in a constant state of Frazzle. I’ve learned that just like money, we’ll never have “enough” time—so we just need to budget it.
I now set aside blocks of time for specific things and try not to let other things creep in. For me, I separate projects (ie. 10-12 is my work at Same Page HR, 1:30-3:30 is writing) and even build in blocks for personal things (prayer, carpool, working out).
We also implemented a sabbath for our family this year and built that into our time budget. From dinner on Saturday to dinner on Sunday, we don’t work and instead worship, rest, and delight.
Not only does having a time budget help keep me focused on the task at hand, it also takes away some anxiety, as I know I have time set aside to email/work/rest at another point in the day or week.
A friend gave me a journal when I was pregnant with my first baby, and I stuck it in my hospital bag. David and I then wrote Wells letters on the day she was born, and we’ve since written to her 1-2x a year in that journal. We write specific things she does, says, and enjoys, and we write what parenting feels like at the time. (We did this for the other two girls too, although they most definitely received less letters in their early years than the first kid did, oops.)
We’ve also passed the journal to our parents, allowing them to share their perspectives. As I sat down recently to write Wells a note for her 13th birthday, I flipped through the journals and read letters my father-in-law (who recently passed away) wrote to the girls. What a gift to us all.
Another idea: I recently heard of someone who writes a letter to her children each Christmas summarizing their year, a tradition she has maintained even now that her children are grown!
A letter from Wells' grandfather in her journal
For two years now, we’ve hosted a group of ~20 couples from our church/neighborhood in our home one evening a month. We start with a potluck and then we all move into our living room where we interview a guest couple, asking the following questions:
What is the five minute version of how you fell in love?
What are three-four defining high or low seasons? What did you learn, and how did you experience God’s love in each season?
What are your marriage’s defining values? If someone were asked how the world has been affected because of you/your marriage, what do you hope they say?
What is something practical that has changed your marriage? Give that as homework. (a habit, a certain question to ask, etc)
For over 4 years, my friend Laura and I did what we called Meal Prep Club. Every Monday, I would buy and prep ingredients for a meal (enough for both of our families). I delivered her share of the ingredients to her fridge and texted her the recipe. Every Wednesday, she did the same for me. That meant we had two thoughtful meals each week with only half the thought. (We’ve since retired as kids’ sports took over our evenings, but maybe we’ll pick it back up eventually…)
Some favorites: Thai Ramen | BBQ Sweet Potato Nachos | Korean Beef Bowls
I also really struggle when thinking about what to cook, so I made this cooking cheat sheet to help. I Can think about what’s on sale or what we have in the fridge and go from there.
Visioning + Rocks + StandupBot. These dramatically different tools really help me move my work forward while also keeping me in line with my intentions.
Longterm: write a vision for a few years down the road. Here’s a vision I wrote for my grassroots marketing work along with more on visioning from King of Pops cofounder Steven Carse (who first introduced me to this idea!).
Quarterly: set “rocks” (EOS terminology for big things you’ll get done in 90 days) that help you break down goals into outputs.
Daily: use StandupBot in Slack for quick accountability. This has helped our team at Same Page HR move small things along by looking at three main things to accomplish each day.
We lost my father-in-law “Chief” in 2023 and were so moved by the support of friends and neighbors during the blow of that week and the grief that followed. Here are a few unique gestures that still amaze me:
Messages with specific memories. Our family would then send screenshots of emails and texts we received to one another. We re-lived some favorite stories and heard plenty we never knew about.
Volunteering of talents. Angela photographed the burial. Detail-oriented Karen and Julie kept track of funeral, life insurance, travel, hospital, and other details in a shared phone note between us and my mother-in–law. Landrum asked me to give her a personal task to take off our shoulders, so we asked her to coordinate a carpet cleaner for a rental property we were dealing with in the midst of everything. (“Heaven’s Best Carpet Cleaning” showed up the next day.)
Honoring the range of relationships. I’ll never forget opening a card written to “The Daughters-in-Law” that called out our unique experience in all of this. Neighbors also gave the grandkids coloring books and cut-up strawberries in bags to keep them occupied as we traveled to the burial. I’ve since thought about the many different griefs from the same loss: best friends, coworkers, grandkids, in-laws…
Showing up. Wow, we were so moved by all the faces we saw at the funeral. Over 800 people showed up for Chief, this man who didn’t have a following or platform but just built 1:1 relationships. Like Chief (and like those at the funeral), we’ve been reminded of the gift of your presence.
We pay $5/month for Greenlight, this service that is both an app and a personalized debit card for our girls (ages 9, 12, 14). We decided to give them each $3 a week once they finish chores—meeting general home and school expectations + putting away laundry. We put the first 50 cents into a giving category, and they can then choose what they want to put in their savings or spending categories.
We can transfer money easily if someone Venmos me their pet-sitting payment or if the girls need to pay me back for something, and their cards can be used online and stored on Amazon. It’s really helped them understand what it’s like to save, spend, and give.
After a crazy three-year health journey, I’ve started to view my immune system as something to proactively care for. Aside from the general stuff (exercise, eating well, water, sunlight, etc), the four things that have helped the most are:
STAT Wellness. I went to (truly) countless doctors, but this functional medicine was the place that finally looked for and found the root cause of all my issues. 1000% recommend.
AG1. This is a pretty pricey supplement, but it replaces a counter full of pills. David and I actually split a monthly subscription and just add a half a scoop each day to our water or smoothie.
l-Lysine. This amino acid is commonly used to treat cold sores but also helps with other viruses. I take one or two whenever I feel myself getting sick.
Sleep. This has actually been the biggest lever for me. When I’m getting sick, I just make sure I get a few good nights of sleep (8-10 hours, eeee).
What are your favorite hacks? I’d love to know!